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in: Sports competitions, 2006 in sports, Jim Rome

Smack-Off 2006

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Smack-Off 2006 was the twelfth installment of show's annual event, the Smack-Off. The Smack-Off was invented by Jim Rome and show producer Travis Rodgers (T-Rodge), in order to showcase the best callers of the year. The best caller of the day in the Smack-Off is named "King of Smack."

Layout[]

As with previous Smack-Offs, the show's layout is as follows: During the first hour of the show, Rome explains the concept and development of the Smack-Off, announces the invitees, and explains the rules. The remainder of the show, up to the final two segments, is dedicated to taking calls and reading e-mails. In the last two segments, Rome names the top ten, announces the winner, conducts a short interview with the winner, and replays the winning call as the Huge Call of the Day.

Invitees[]

Previous Winners

  • J.T. the Brick
  • "Doc" Mike Di Tolla
  • Jeffrey Di Tolla (AKA "Esquire")
  • Stevie from LMU
  • Sean the Cablinasian
  • Silk in Huntington Beach
  • Jeff from Richmond
  • Iafrate

Previous Smack-Off Callers Invited for Performance

New Invitees

Hour One[]

Jeff in Richmond led off the calls, intending to go "wire-to-wire." He referred to the other contestants as "all the legitimate Jungle legends, and Oren from Denver", reflecting the view of many Clones that Oren didn't deserve his Smack-Off invitation (or still smarting from the "verbal murder" incident in February). His call was, for a Smack-Off call, surprisingly weak, consisting mainly of recycled material from his older calls and hingeing on his assertion that "Jungle Karma" would ensure his victory.

Rachel in Houston became the first frontrunner with her call. She smacked on her haters, who moved their hatred and their male R names for her to Stucknut, suggesting they were largely inbred. She smacked on Kwame Brown's sexual assault allegations, and "Jethro in Bitchmond" for being jealous of Orrin in Denver. She also smacked on the Houston Texans|Texans picking Mario Williams. She took on Justin in Boise and his crush on her, and suggested he stalk Paris Hilton when she was finished with Matt Leinart. She repeated her line stolen from Donovan McNabb ("Keep my name out your mouth") and said she would get the police to shoot him if he mentioned her one more time. Finally, she smacked on Bill in Knoxville. After her call, Rome strongly hinted that Jeff in Richmond's "wire-to-wire" efforts were in vain, and would repeat this after other callers.

Oren in Denver, although a controversial invitee, was expected to be a strong contender for a first-timer, based on his calls over the last year. His call was themed around a checklist of items needed for a winning call, and started off strong, but ended up being run after just over five minutes with no end in sight. Rome went on to explain that while there is no time limit on calls, he expects callers to be able to say what they need to say within five minutes, and at the rate Oein was going, his call would've lasted nine or ten minutes. Rome chalked it up to a first-timer's mistake and said that Oren would be back for future Smack-Offs.

Greg in Vegas, who distinguishes himself with his cerebral yet exceedingly graphic takes, started with an impromptu line about Oren, calling him a clone of Jungle legend Kerwin in Riverside. Greg continued by comparing NASCAR to Bethany Hamilton, as both stock car racing|stock cars and one-armed swimmers (presumably) move in circles. He challenged the selection committee to admit that they love his blackly humorous takes, then closed with a veiled shot at Rome's unstated threats to move to satellite radio by saying "I've got way more takes, but if you want to hear them, I'm going to have to charge you $12.95 a month." After he ended his call, Rome said that unlike usual, where he's unsure whether to run or rack him, this call was definitely racked.

Hour Two[]

Terrence in Sierra Madre opened his call with another voice in the background, then claiming that he had Reggie Bush's family staying with him. He then spent most of his call laying smack against Iafrate, even going so far as to include a section of one of Iafrate's calls in his, based on Iafrate incorrectly naming Aldous Huxley as the author of 1984.

Jeff bumping around on a car phone in Phoenix used his call to insult Oren in Denver and Sean the Cablinasian. He targeted Jason Stewart by saying he should be on a place-mat for connect-the-dots, referring to the large number of moles on Stewart's face. The end of Jeff's call was cut off as the show had to go to a commercial break.

Casey in Vegas claimed that C.C. Sabathia's initials stood for Chuck E. Cheese's, criticized ESPN for televising poker, and made references to Kevin Elster and Steve Garvey's problems with women. Other references included "Joe Table" (Jose Mesa), "that librarian in Chicago" (Greg Maddux), Ichiro using a tennis racket, and Preston Wilson striking out profusely. He also played a clip of an obscure song by John Neems that disparages Rome and his listeners.

Joe in the O.C. opened his call by saying that he had Rachel in Houston's back...and that once he was done there, he'd shave her knuckles, too. He deprecated his own Smack-Off career, referencing StuckNut.com's positioning him as a 30-1 longshot. Joe also referenced Steve Garvey's promiscuity and fecundity, despite the previous caller doing the same thing.

Sean the Cablinasian insulted all the people he'd never seen in the Smack-Off before, saying it was like tuning into Happy Days after a few years and only recognizing Joanie and Chachi (and also wondering if Ted McGinley would show up in Hour #3). Sean gave takes on Barry Bonds' "persecution", Matt Leinart's decision to stay at University of Southern California|USC and "get frottage|dry-humped by Pete Carroll after every touchdown," and compared Shawn Marion's jump shot to Teen Wolf. He predicted his victory, stating "I'll talk to you in an hour" to Rome, and ended his call with "Boom goes the dynamite!", a reference to a video clip of a rookie sportscaster whose first on-air segment was a disastrous failure.

Steve Carbone sarcastically deferred to Sean the Cablinasian's incipient victory, rekindling a long-running feud between the two. He referenced the Cablinasian's brother, former University of Notre Dame|Notre Dame football player and convicted sports fixer Kevin Pendergast. Stevie was also the second caller of the day to make a David Spade-inspired "I liked x better the first time, when it was called y" joke.

Justin in Boise worked several derivative Jungle lines into his take, then ironically referred to the Cablinasian as having made an uninspired call. He also questioned the sexuality of Rachel in Houston and Joe in the O.C., claiming that Joe is a WNBA fan, and Rachel plays in that league. Justin got off a Moe Green blast from "GodFather" before running out of time due to the hour break.

Hour Three[]

Iafrate spent most of his call retaliating against Terrence. He also spent a lot of time talking about how no one ever remembers who came in fourth in any event, then ironically came in fourth in Smack-Off 2006...

Silk in Huntington Beach started by audibly taking a drink of water, then called himself the Rodney Dangerfield of the Jungle, claiming that he gets no respect. He also insulted the Stucknut fan site.

Bill in Knoxville

John in C-Town accused Greg in Vegas of stealing his lines from Dennis Miller.

Oliver in St. Louis had a strong call, but ended the main body of his call with a very crude oral sex reference, and was run just as he started his "war"s. Rome was aghast, and bemoaned Oliver blowing what would've been a "top ten call" with the reference, putting in the same place as Greg in Vegas (2003) and Jim in Fall River (2004) as Clones who screwed up great Smack-Off performances with crude comments.

The Top 10 and Winner[]

The top 10 were:

10. Jeff in Richmond
9. Jeff in Phoenix (on a car phone)
8. Stevie in LMU
7. Bill in Knoxville
6. Terrence in Sierra Madre
5. Rachel in Houston
4. Iafrate
3. Joe in the O.C.
2. Greg in Vegas
1. Sean the Cablinasian

This makes Sean a four-time Smack-Off winner and the first back-to-back Smack-Off Champion, and continued Terrence in Sierra Madre's run as "The Best Caller to Never Win the Smack-Off."

See also[]

External links[]

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